My wife knows how I feel, but she is excited and plans to spend a lot of time with her sister. The latest twist in this is that my sister-in-law and her husband are moving here and will live about 10 miles away. She now says that her sister “didn’t mean anything” by what she did, and seems to be trying to blame me for being offended. She is worried that this would change her relationship with her sister. When I complained to my wife, she did not seem surprised and made some feeble excuses, ending in “Well … that’s my sister.” She has refused to confront her sister about this or even ask for an explanation. After I got over being stunned and feeling really creeped out, I was angry. As I turned around, my wife’s sister bent over me, grabbed me around my neck with one arm, put her other hand on my chest, stuck her face into my shoulder, and kissed me as far down on my neck as she could get. At the end of the night, my wife walked them to the door while I remained sitting in the living room, relieved to have avoided contact.Ī few seconds later I sensed someone standing near me. This worked until one night when she was in our home to celebrate a birthday with her daughter and granddaughter. I decided I would simply stay out of my sister-in-law’s way as much as possible. My wife seems to alternate between being intimidated by her sister and feeling as if she has to protect her.
Also, she seems to have my wife emotionally bound to her to the point that my wife gets angry at the slightest criticism of her sister. I wish I had found a way to quietly tell her that she was making me uncomfortable and ask her to please stop, but I was still new to the family and not sure of myself with them. I never gave her any encouragement or positive reaction.īecause all of these things occurred with other family members around, I did not feel like I could snap at her or push her away. Let me touch it.” That progressed to putting an arm around my shoulders and then coming up to me and putting both arms around my neck while facing me. But after that, every time she visited, she would single me out for compliments, saying I was “cute” and trying to find reasons to touch me.
My sister-in-law never paid any unusual attention to me until my wife and I married.
She has been living far away from us and visits three or four times a year. She has an older sister who is on her third marriage and has a reputation in my wife’s family for being flirtatious and extremely manipulative. I am a man in my 70s, and my wife is a few years older than me. Have a question? Email her at Therapist,Ī couple of years ago I married a wonderful woman after living with her for a few years. Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small.
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